_i am empty and drained and through. even though the prom was a 100% success, i don't think i enjoyed it as much as i should have. i had a lot of fun djing, even when it was just me and meghan tapping me on the shoulder and pointing this out to me. if you were to tell me even six months ago that i would be playing nine inch nails and orgy and skinny puppy at a party and genuinely enjoying it i would have said a bad word in my mind. i said a bad word in my mouth today probably 10 or 20 times. the word was 'shit' and it was while i was riding home from work with my severely burned arm glistening in the sun. i say bad words sometimes but not very often at all. i don't care about them. i seriously don't care about my giant homo burn. not even a little. i do care for it, though. it is blistering, which is gross. i am dizzy and lightheaded and anxious. i love lying down so much. is that so weird? i love other stuff as well, and i love doing active things like sports and chasing people, but seriously i really really love to just lay down and relax and read three books at once and listen to music. this is probably in my top 3 favorite things to do. and right now it is nice to watch everything gradually slide down my walls. dr huxtable, i remember, was equally fond of listening to old jazz records in his brooklyn(?) townhouse(?) basement(!). i can relate to heathcliff in a lot of ways. that is why i am 'dj huxtable'. he is surrounded by these hilarious cartoon-type characters just like me. and he has a great and hilarious and dynamic family just like me. sarah sent me a text message just a few minutes ago that said, 'im pretty thirsty. if we were dating would you bring me water?' i thought this was pretty funny. not hilarious. what will become of me? what will become of all of us? i feel we are all on the brink of something. but seriously what will become of me? goodbye!
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